Sunday, March 18, 2007

People say she was such a sweet dog. I tell them, no, you are not even close. She was the best dog who ever lived.

The ones who don't own dogs, who never have, require convincing. They don't get it. They think I'm just being hyperbolic. But the dog owners understand. They, too, know what it means to have the best dog who ever lived.

When Rose was young, back in Eureka, Illinois, I used to take her for walks over toward a cow pasture a few blocks from our house. She regarded the cows with awe, until one day when she decided to sniff the fence. I didn't realize it was electrified until too late. I could never get her close to the cow pasture again. As soon as she realized we were headed in that direction, she would stop walking and I couldn't pull her any closer.

A few years later, I got a Mylar birthday balloon. The next day, while I was gone, the balloon, floated around the house in the gentle breeze of the forced-air heating system. When I got home, Rose was shaking like a leaf, terrified by the monster that was pursuing her.

My boyfriend John, who was a big fan of vintage piano music recordings, called her Rosina Lhevine. She came to answer to that name, and since she adored John, she responded eagerly to it. Eventually, after John and I split up, she forgot that name. I tried calling her Rosina Lhevine a few years later, and she didn't respond at all.

John and Rose and I drove from Illinois to the east coast one year during Christmas break. We went to my sister's house in Baltimore before heading up to New Jersey. Rose had her first encounter with Troy's cat. In her puppy-like eagerness to play, Rose managed to exasperate the cat in short order, and it lashed out with a hiss and gave her a scratch on the nose. Rose spent the rest of our visit avoiding that cat for fear of her life, and from then on she regarded all cats with a mixture of curiosity and suspicion.

Once John brought over some homemade cornbread, one of his favorite foods, to share with me. We left it on the kitchen table in a plastic bag while we were doing something else. When we came back it was gone. We found only a few crumbs at the top of the stairs, Rose's favorite spot. No baggies. Just crumbs.

Rose loved tissues and toilet paper. She was unable to resist them. She pulled them out of wastebaskets. She unraveled rolls of toilet paper, and if I left the closet open where I stored the spare rolls, they might be chewed to smithereens.

When I took Rose for walks around Greenlake, she seemed to prance. People often commented on it. If she saw something or heard a noise in the distance, she stood up on her hind legs. She seemed to be able to balance on her hind legs almost indefinitely.

She was still a puppy when she was twelve. She barely slowed down at all. When we were outside, parents with toddlers would tell them, Look at the puppy! I called her Baby, because she was such a baby, with her deep-seeded fears of balloons and tricycles and cats and tupperware.

After Rose had a series of seizures last August, she didn't handle stairs very well. Sometimes when I was upstairs cooking or eating or watching TV, she would sit at the bottom of the stairs and bark, but I couldn't coax her to try the stairs. If I did, she'd make it up two or three of them and give up, sometimes sliding backwards to the bottom. But in the last month of her life, she started coming upstairs again. Even the night before I had to say goodbye to her, when no doubt she was enduring some measure of pain, she came upstairs and sat with me while I watched "24."

Rose was the best dog who ever lived. But in the end she let me down. Surely the best dog who ever lived should have lived forever.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

An acknowledgment of failure, or of not keeping my word: I did not make it to my goal weight of 175 lbs. by February 11. I'm still at 183.

Another acknowledgment: I'm not making it to the gym. I haven't gotten to the gym since vacation. I am going today, as soon as I leave Monkey Grind, where I'm doing my usual Saturday breakfast. But every day after work, I come up with one excuse or another not to go. If anyone reads this, please accept my invitation to call me and check on me and kick me in the butt (metaphorically speaking) and deride me for my laziness and gently remind me that I need to go to the gym.

My vacation in San Diego was perfect in almost every respect. I loved being with my friend Cathy for a week; we managed to stay out of each other's hair and still spend a lot of time together without pissing each other off. I got a lot of work done on my novel. I enjoyed a fun birthday with an amazing dinner at JRDN. I got to see my high school friend Alan for the first time in 4 1/2 years, as he was wonderful enough to drive down from L.A. in heavy weekend traffic with his boyfriend Tony. They only downside was getting sick at the end of the week. I didn't realize I was sick; I thought I just wasn't feeling great. When we had a nice dinner of Mexican food in La Jolla and I promptly lost the whole thing in the men's room, I should have suspected. Or when I nearly passed out in an art gallery. It wasn't until I got home the next night and discovered I had a 100.7° temperature that I thought, "Oh, no wonder I've been feeling so crappy!" Fortunately it was only at the very end of my vacation that this happened, and it didn't ruin any of the fun.

The best thing about my vacation was that, unlike almost every vacation I've ever taken, I didn't resent it for being too short, and I didn't need a vacation from my vacation. I was ready to go home and get back to work (once I felt better).

Work is going well. The ping pong tournament is officially underway, although I haven't played any games yet. I lucked out in the bracketing. Here's how it works: There are 40 in the tournament, divided into 10 groups of 4. Each player in each group plays a 3-game match against the other 2 players in that group. When that's over, the top 20 move into the "A" bracket and the bottom 20 move into the "B" bracket. Then each bracket has its own single-elimination tournament.

Of the 40 in the tournament this year, 22 played in last year's tournament, and 18 are new. All the newbies were randomly seeded at the bottom, and the top 22 were seeded based on stats from last year. Of those 22, 12 were in the "A" bracket and 10 were in the "B" bracket. I am 3rd seed from the "B" bracket last year (because I lost to the eventual winner of the bracket, and/or because others who were above me aren't playing this year), which should mean I am seeded 15th overall. But the person in charge of the tournament decided that the top 5 "B" people should be rewarded for their success by being seeded above the bottom 5 "A" people. As a result, I am seeded 10th, higher than several players who are clearly a lot better than I am. I think I have a really good shot at making it to the "A" bracket, which probably means I will lose my first game in the single-elimination round.

I went to a workshop on presentation skills offered by UW. It was two 4-hour sessions, the last two Friday afternoons. I can't say I got a lot of direct value from the workshop, but it did help me learn some things on my own by preparing and delivering my presentation for the class, and by delivering it in a practice session for some peers at POP. The most exciting part was getting immersed in my topic, a proposal for adopting lean principles at POP. I find myself becoming an evangelist. I really believe what I'm talking about makes sense, and when I talk about it, people immediately see the value. I really believe I can make a difference with this, and I can't wait to expand my audience.

I love loving my job!

OK, now off to the gym...